Some insights to think outside the box.
Every single soul on the planet is genetically exceptional. No one else on the planet has the same DNA as you. We are familiar with this biological concept, and we have already read these facts in school. However, now I have a question for you. Why do we doubt our inimitability when it comes to our business, our talents, our marketing, our selling, our products and last but not least to ourselves as a personality? What happened in the history of mankind? Or should I ask what went awry?
From the hard facts (genetics) we recognise we are unique. When it comes to the soft skills of our being, like characteristics, competencies, accomplishments – just to name a few – we tend to question ourselves and our abilities. Why the heck do we do that if we are genetically coded to be incomparable? My point and question are, that if we are not comparable to another human being from the genetic angle, why do we feel this need to compare, doubt and question ourselves? This need that drives us crazy at times?
Why don’t we trust ourselves in what we have to provide?
We were not born do so. We learn it, and we discover it fast! We were trained throughout our childhood, our education, through the expectations of others and through so-called role models in the media and many other influences as well as the spirit of the period we live in nowadays. We are constantly educated to live up to external standards of society and life. We lose our inner voice because instead we learn to listen to others and believe them more. What others have to say seems much more important or way better than what we have to share. We even sacrifice our dreams to please others (family, friends, employers) and value others more than ourselves.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Well, we are all guilty of this – in one way or the other.
While I am writing these lines something, I was recently told comes to mind. Even though the context is a little non-business related, I want to share what inspired my thinking. Returning from a vacation in Cuba, a friend of mine was astonished by the high self-esteem of Cuban women. She watched women of all ages and all body types being totally comfortable in their bodies, wearing tight clothes only and flirting with men in the streets just for the fun of it. They didn’t care about carrying a few pounds too much or being already a granny. They were celebrating themselves without any body-shame at all!
Unimaginable in our part of the world! The assumption why this is, is because there is no such thing like TV-commercials, glossy fashion magazines or advertisements in the streets. The Cuban people are not exposed to all these influences as we are. Hence, they don’t live up to any beauty standard and don’t feel the need to compare themselves to it. How amazing is that?
In other words: They did not learn to compare their bodies to external standards of appeal. They choose to think they are attractive and, therefore, feel attractive. Whereas we mostly choose to not feel confident (this would be another topic worth talking about). I was truly impressed by this observation. It’s just a brilliant example to illustrate it is not God-given to constantly compare ourselves and reduce our happiness by doing so.
The loop we keep going
Our reality mostly is that we exist in a constant loop created by our mindset, our fears, the limiting beliefs we gather and the stories we tell ourselves.
Regarding business, we tend to believe everyone else has it figured out, their marketing is amazing, their website and self-presentation is stunning and so on. Moreover, then we end up feeling like we’re not good enough, we can’t do it, and we’ll never be as good as them and stop ourselves to pursue our dreams. I’ve been there myself, and it’s truly not a good place to be!
We compare ourselves to the success models of others, without knowing how they got there and assume others don’t struggle the way we do.
We often focus on what we are not, instead of looking at what we do and who we are. Changing this pattern is not easy, but I encourage you to try. Every time we shift the focus from negative self-criticism to positive self appreciation we are moving in the right direction and gaining momentum.
No more trying to do what everybody else is doing and no more comparison
Other people, business owners, successful people and – if you will – role models, are a great source to gather inspiration on how you want to succeed and take action on your personal business-pathway. To unlearn comparison in terms of wanting to do the exactly same as others is a huge favour of yourself. Because a certain model works for other people’s business does not necessarily mean you are like them and should use their blueprint. This is crucial because your uniqueness is a business advantage!
It is a natural process that we grow, develop and expand to where we want to be. Care more about who you are than what others think of you. Own your story, update it and be proud of it. Every single one of us is on a different and unique journey, and that is why you cannot ever really compare yourself to others. Don’t get caught up in other people’s version of success. Create your success, based on your story, experience and uniqueness.
You were created as a one-of-a-kind. How you express your soul’s uniqueness is a choice – your choice!